Avoidance

I don't know why, but I have been avoiding posting my events from LAST week.  So know I am really unmotivated to post for THIS week.  Last week.  September 11.  I was at the local high school, finalizing things for my student teaching practicum that I was doing in the counseling office for my Family and Human Development degree.  I was in the library trying to rack someone down, came out of the offices and glanced up at the TV.  It was playing some scene about a plane crashing into a building.  I watched for a minute, trying to figure out where and (what I thought was more important) WHEN this event occurred.  I thought I was really behind in my world history to not remember an event when a plane flew into a building.  And then I saw the date, the LIVE sign in the corner, and the second plane crash into the second tower.  I was shocked.  I hurried home, turned on the TV and sat there the rest of the day in shock.  Why?  I wasn't personally affected by this. I didn't know anyone even LIVING in New York (or as I later found out Pennsylvania).  But I was shocked that something like this could happen on the soil of this country that I love so much.  Later that week and into months later that I would drive from my home to school, I would see the flags flying at half-staff, and I would feel like crying.  It was a reminder to me that, as much as I love this country, bad things can still happen on this blessed soil.  

Just barely six months later, the US hosted the 2002 Olympic games.  I heard on the news this year that it was such a debate - should we hold the games, is it going to be safe - but I was there.  Literally.  I had volunteered for the games.  I was chosen to be on the opening/closing ceremonies team.  I was AT the opening ceremony.  As the flag taken from Ground Zero was brought onto the ice and God Bless America was sung, I had SO many tears in my eyes.  Then the flag was raised and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sang the Star Spangled Banner.  I was weeping.  I honestly think it was the first time in my life that I truly appreciated that song.   My favorite verse (my big brother read it to me shortly after Sept 11 - I don't think I had really paid attention to the words before) is the last verse:

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

I love the message of this verse.  I am one of those people who am excited to have "In God is our trust" as our motto.  I hate that the minority atheists have taken away the right that I have to pray before events.  I hate that they (because THEY don't believe in Him) don't want us to trust in God.  Our country has the rights and freedom it has because it was founded by religious people who followed the promptings of the Holy Ghost and created a free country where people can worship how, where, and what they may.  I love that these people did this for ME.  Without the guidance of a Supreme Being (and I understand if people DO have different beliefs than I, I really do.  Just don't take away MY right to worship the way I want.) our country will crumble.  

So still, to this day, I get emotional.  Just typing this now, I am tearing up at the thoughts/memories that I have.  I don't often express my views.  I have never been one that has been vocal about the things I believe in.  I often sit back and listen more than talking.  Usually its the easier way.  But I couldn't even sit at the computer last week without feeling the need to get my feelings out.  Thus my avoidance. I feel a bit better now - thanks for sticking with me and my feelings.